Monday, 12 December 2011

Instructions

Dear Sir/Madame

I am writing to inform you of my short absence from the Manor, in which case you will have to replace me. I am sorry for the short notice but you seemed to me to be best suited as my replacement. As you have applied for this position I am afraid to mention it bears with it very hard word and dedication. Mr Moncrieff has many needs to be tended to, and so I hope very dearly that you do a good job of it. He in particular has a very big appetite, so make sure that food is always at hand otherwise his temper will get the better of him and we certainly don't want that. Muffins are of his favourite so keep plenty in the house. But do remember that when Sir Algernon is a slight bit upset he will overeat with little emotion.

Thursday, 1 December 2011

Lady Bracknell Speak

Dear Eugene
Ernest, Ernest, Ernest, this name has an absolute repulsive ring to it. The cheek,  how could he even consider having interest in my dear Gwendolen let alone propose to her. Today my own Eugene, I came across a terrible situation. Ernest Worthing asked for Gwendolens’ hand in marriage.
Gwendolen must be worth 10 of him. She is such a beautiful girl at a Young ripe age, with an amazing unspoiled nature. He would not be able to look after her properly, Although he claims he loves her profoundly he does not have any relations! How ridiculous is that? He was found in a leather bag! I must say when I heard these words from his mouth I found is extremely hard to control my laughter!  Found in a leather bag! What a joke!

I understand that i might seem like a cruel person, but in these days you have to be careful. The society is not like it was 5 years ago. We are higher class people we have to worry about every little thing. What will everyone say when they find out about Gwendolen marrying a Man Found in a Bag! we will become a laughing stock! all the women will mock me.

What shocks me most is the daughter I raised to be sensible and understanding has now for the first time gone against me. She is also persistent in wedding Ernest. She says she will not marry anyone else. She will never forgive me etc. But this is her inner child speaking. Soon she will come to her senses.